Angst Crusade
by Angsters
Summary: We promised, we deliver. The first chapter of the Angst Crusade it here. Welcome to the Fan Fiction Academy.
1. Default Chapter Title

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Angst Crusaders

Libra was a student at the Fan Fiction academy.

It was her third year, and there was major Trouble.

She was on her way to her class on how to write a realistic fight, which was mainly about getting some first hand experience, i.e., the instructors would give you hand to hand or lasers or whatever it was that the class was about, and you would get beaten up. 

Well, she thought, at least it was more interesting than Beta Reading.

She was wearing an old _gi_, which was spotted with charcoal from the class they had on grenade throwing, and ran into the _last _person that she would have wanted to see.

Biz.

Groaning to herself, all she could do was think, _oh, no, what now?_

"Well?" asked Biz. She looked like she was expecting something.

"What?" Libra answered, trying to get away.

Biz had grabbed her arm, while her crony, Scott, had gotten the other.

"Aren't you going to kiss my hand?" she said imperiously.

Libra, answering before she thought, said, "I would rather kiss a frog. It would be prettier."

Biz's face turned an interesting shade of purple.

"Why you little-" she growled, when RenegadeLegacy showed up.

"Hey, Libra, come on, we've got to get to class! We wouldn't want to miss seeing Larania blow up her own head again!"

Breathing a very deep sigh of relief, Libra twisted out of her captor's grip, and slipped away.

The realistic fight scene classes where held outside, largely because they were too dangerous to be held in doors.

Today was sword fighting, which made many of the students nervous. Larania, the assistant, could be very clumsy. 

Larania was standing in front of the class, wearing a jacket that looked suspiciously like a straight jacket, with a mask made of a metal mesh. 

"Okay, people, let's get dressed."

Libra and RL looked at each other like they thought Larania was loosing it again. Then they noticed the pile of similar stuff to what Larania was wearing, so they went over to get it on.

It was easier said then done, and it was made even harder by the fact that Biz had shown up as well.

"Oh, great," Libra muttered, seeing the bully arrive. 

RL noticed where she was looking, and grimaced also.

"Okay, everybody dressed?" Larania shouted, when she saw that everybody had on their equipment.

"So, what are we doing? Watching you stab your own foot?" Scott sneered, seeing Larania pull something from a large bin.

"Do you volunteer to be my sparring partner?" she asked, sounding annoyed.

"Sure," he said nastily. He had already beaten her when it came to a shoot out, so he had no worries about this.

"Okay." Larania smiled, and pulled out a rapier and a broadsword. "Which one?" He chose the broadsword.

The two opponents squared off, and within two minutes, Larania had Scott on his butt.

"I-" he looked so embarrassed that for a few moments no one knew what to say.

"Well, shall we continue?" Larania said brightly.

Everyone just stared.

Next class was singing.

Naomi Sisko was an assistant in that class, with the main teacher being Jigglipuff.

Things started out smoothly enough, but soon Biz was being obnoxious again.

"Really, do we have to do that, over and over again?" wise-cracked the writer, who was now making fun of how Jiggilipuff sang.

The only problem with that was the moment she started to do that, she fell asleep. So did the whole class.

"Well, we took out another one, didn't we?" said Naomi, grinning.

"Jigg-a-lee-puff-" sang on the teacher.

The last class of the day was the one that Libra despised, not just because Biz was the one that taught it. It was about staying on-topic. 

Libra was sitting next to RenegadeLegacy, talking quietly. 

Biz overheard them.

"…and, you know that I hate the way that some people mess up my name…"

"If you can't stay on-topic, you will be expelled from the school!" Biz snarled, slamming her fists onto the table that Libra and RL was sitting at.

"We I thought this class was about anything fanfic related!" Libra protested. "This _is _fanfic related!"

"I say that it's _not!_"

"Who gave you the right to do something like that?" groused RenegadeLegacy.

"Xing, that's who," said the teacher with an air of superiority.

"Headmaster Xing?" someone whispered.

"Yes! You have been warned."

Libra and RenegadeLegacy sat absolutely quietly for the rest of the class. Larania walked up to them after class was over, and asked what was going on.

"I don't know," answered Libra, her eyes narrowing. "All I can say is that was really, really rude."

Naomi, who had been listening, nodded in sympathy.

"What are you going to do about it?" she asked.

"They do not have the right to take away my free speech," Libra proclaimed. "I will protest to the death if I have to, but I will say what I think."

**Meanwhile…**

Biz walked underneath the school in one of the many secret passages that honeycombed the foundation of the massive school house.

"I will have all the fanfiction powers," she hissed, " and their little dog, too."

To the left of her, in the ancient cave that made up the main chamber of her underground hideout, was a large pen. In it, muzzled and chained, was Fido, the Fan Fiction.Net watchdog.

Laughing, she continued. "When the time it right, I will take all of their ideas, and unleash the ultimate evil. I will control the spammers! MWAHAHAH!"


	2. Default Chapter Title

Just their luck, RenegadeLegacy, Larania, Libra, and Naomi Sisko ran into Biz in the hallways.

"Whoever thought of putting a limit on freedom of speech should be whacked with wet noodles," Libra declared loudly.

RenegadeLegacy grinned and swung her shoulderbag forward, reached in..

And pulled her hand out, an expression of shock on her face.

Libra sighed theatrically. "Renn, you missed your cue."

"It's not my fault!" RL objected.

Libra sighed again. "You were _supposed_ to whack Biz with a wet noodle. Don't tell me you don't have a wet noodle in that bag of yours, you have _everything_ in there.."

RenegadeLegacy shook her head. "That's just it. I hardly have anything in there. When I need something, I use my author powers to pull it out."

At this point, Larania and Naomi were staring at RenegadeLegacy as though she'd lost her mind, [a/n: Not that they were necessarily _wrong_..] but Libra was still glaring angrily at Biz.

So only Libra saw the smirk that played across her face, for a split second, at the words _author powers_.

"Uhrm. Writer's Block?" suggested Naomi.

RenegadeLegacy shook her head.

"I don't get Writer's Block."


	3. Default Chapter Title

  


Libra turned her gaze from Biz to the rest of the Angsters. She grabbed Larania's arm and pulled her and the others out of the hallway into the Rec Room. (Okay, so most schools don't have one, but what else am I supposed to say?) " Did you see that?" she whispered. "Biz, she smiled, when you said author powers." Her eyes were full of anger. The others stared at her like Mini Purple Elephants (©) had flown out of her ears. 

"Sooooo….." RL said, "maybe she just didn't want to be whacked with wet noodles. In fact, who does?" 

Libra sighed surprised they didn't get it. "She took our author powers, can't you see that?" By now they all thought that Libra had hit her head repeatedly as a child. In fact, she could see that a straitjacket had appeared on the table in front of her. I'll prove it to you. I know Biz is up to something," she said fiercely, leaving for the Fido house. 

The houses were new at FFU, they were Fido, Bwahahaha, Mwhahaha and Bob, all named for important parts of FFN. You would be sorted into a house by holding the sorting pen in the air, and when it was put down it would write the name of the house. The houses would be where you stayed during your school year. You also had classes with your house and sometimes with another. The houses often had competitions that would sometimes get a little out of hand. Like last year when a riot broke out at a power of the pen tourney. The Angsters all belonged to the Bwahahaha house, and Biz and Scott both belonged to the rival house, Mwhahaha. Bwahahaha had been the ruling house for the past few years, but their rivals, the Mwhahaha were always close behind. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The Next Day 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

" How do you explain the wet noodles?" said Libra the next day, still trying to convince the others. 

"Will you please shut up about it?" said another member of the Fido house. The clock on the wall struck 8 am. 

" Oh great, were late for the on topic class" RL said grabbing her bag and leaving the room. The other Angsters followed her ready to face the wrath of Biz. 

10 minutes later Libra, Larania, RL, and Naomi walked into On Topic class "We all know that being antific started with those lil jerks called Angsters," Scott was telling the class. Biz, who usually didn't tolerate this behavior was watching with a smile on her face. Something inside Libra just snapped; she let her anger take control again, and to make a short story even shorter, she flamed Scott in self-defense. Within seconds there was notice on her desk:   


Libra has hear-by been removed from class

She cannot attend class until I,

Supreme Biz, say so,

-Biz


	4. Default Chapter Title

Larania, RenegadeLegacy, and Naomi met Libra in the hall after class was over. Teeth clenched, Libra pronounced, "We have to stop her." 

RenegadeLegacy reached into her backpack, but, again, it was empty. A realization dawned on her. "You're right. Biz _has_ stolen our author powers." 

"Now what do we do?" asked Larania. 

"I don't know," Libra said slowly. 

Naomi bit her lip. "What about . . ." 

The other three perked their ears. 

"No, that won't work." 

All four sighed. 

"I've got it!" RenegadeLegacy exclaimed, motioning for the others to follow her into an empty classroom. Once inside, she shut the door and locked it, then went to the chalkboard and drew two X's. "Now, this is what we'll do . . ." 

* * *

Larania winced as a shovelful of mud hit her in the face. Libra looked over her shoulder, holding her lantern high. Seeing Larania's soiled face, she giggled. "Sorry, Lar." 

"Just whose idea was this, anyway?" asked Larania sarcastically, wiping her nose clean. 

RenegadeLegacy's shovel moved, flinging another pocket of dirt, this time at the lantern, putting it out. 

All was silent for about twenty seconds. 

"It's dark," RenegadeLegacy said. 

"What an ingenious observation!" Larania retorted. "Now please tell me the mastermind remembered to bring matches." 

"Um . . ." 

"You didn't, did you?" 

"Well, normally I'd have some in my backpack . . ." 

A small flame appeared, casting deep shadows down the tunnel. 

"Naomi!" said RenegadeLegacy. "I didn't know you brought anything." 

"I'm a Girl Scout," Naomi answered, as if that explained everything. 

"Light the lantern, will ya?" said Libra impatiently. 

With the lantern lit, the four resumed digging. An hour and ten minutes later, they hit paydirt. 

"The Mwahahaha house," whispered RenegadeLegacy. 

Libra frowned. "How are we gonna get in?" 

With a _snap-hiss_, a second light appeared. 

Libra gasped. "You stole Becker's lightsaber?!" 

RenegadeLegacy nodded evilly and began carving through the cement. "Now let's see what Biz is hiding." 


	5. Default Chapter Title

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Angst Crusaders

Ouch Time

"So, will someone explain to me why the heck we are breaking into our greatest rivals House, with a stolen lightsaber, in the middle of the night?" Larania whined. She was claustrophobic, and being underground was giving her the willies.

RenegadeLegacy had opened up the ancient, moldered vault that they had found, and they were creeping down the tunnel they had found. Naomi Sisko was carrying the lantern, because she was the one with the matches, in the front. Libra was right beside her, along with RL and Larania bringing up the rear. RL had the lightsaber she had taken from the Head of the Intergalactic Writers Council lit, and the eerie green glow it emitted was almost brighter than the lamplight.

"We are trying to find out what Biz is up too," said RenegadeLegacy in an overly patient voice. She was also a little nervous, and Larania wasn't helping any.

"Oh, okay."

It was then that the tunnel they were following opened up into a huge cavern. It was so big that the combined light of the lightsaber and the lantern didn't even touch the walls.

"Whoa," said Libra, her voice reverberating throughout the cave. "Echo!" she yelled. Libra was immediately shushed.

Larania now had her shovel up like it was a weapon, looking around warily.

"Does anyone else smell something funny?" she asked, sniffing.

The rest of the girls took deep breaths, and gagged. 

"I smell a rat," Libra declared.

Everyone else was coughing and hacking at the smell, so they didn't answer.

Shining the lantern over in one of the far sides of the cave, Naomi saw a fleeting shadow.

"What, (cough, gag,) was that?" she yelled, and started to run over.

"Don't know," wheezed Larania. She had been closer, and had gotten there faster.

"No tracks, anyway, but that would be hard here," she told them, looking at the ground.

"When did you learn to read tracks?" asked RenegadeLegacy, as she raced up from behind.

"My fourth year. You'll have it next year. 'Sides, it would be kind of obvious in here, anyway."

"Whoa," everyone heard Naomi say. She was facing another wall of the giant cavern, and she had seen something they hadn't.

They turned, and saw…

It was a computer. The biggest that they had ever seen, and Naomi was headed straight for it. 

"Don't!" yelled Libra shrilly. "It could use sunspots reflected off swamp gas that was refracted through a magic prism to evaporate you!"

Larania and RenegadeLegacy turned to look at her.

(Sweat drop) 

"Well, it could happen!"

Naomi hadn't heard. She was still walking to it like she was in a daze, and she reached out for it. Waving her hand over a pad, lights sprang suddenly from the terminal, and several other lights appeared as well, from many different sources.

Weaving her hands in and out of the light, several beautiful sounds could be heard. Naomi smiled and started to sing, "Jig-a-lee-puff, jig-a-lee-ee-puff," 

Behind her, RL, Libra and Larania started to nod off.

Looking around and noticing what was happening, Naomi stopped.

"How'd I do that?" she exclaimed, and stepped away. Promptly, the other authors woke up.

"Do (yawn) what?" asked Libra, her eyes still drooping.

Naomi tried to sing, but she wasn't able to.

"What is that thing?"

There was a soft voice that came from the lights, which formed into a giant, floating head.

"Six thousand years ago, a morphological being known as Ivan Ooze ruled the world with a rein of unparalleled terror-"

"Oh, _no,_" said Larania. "This person was a Power Rangers fan!"

"Actually, I'm not, I was simply waking up from a strange dream," said the giant floating head.

All the girls tried to do a credible imitation of a landed fish.

"There is one out there, who would unleash the greatest evil that the 'Net has ever known. I do not know who that one is, but she has drained the Omnipotent Fan Fiction powers from all of you," it said.

"NOOO!" they screamed. 

"It was Biz!" screamed Libra, stomping her foot. "I know it was!"

"She was not alone," continued the floating head, which they didn't even have a name for.

"Scott," hissed Larania, her eyes narrowing to slits, and her hands whirling the shovel around.

"She is draining all over your powers into a plot hole, one that threatens to engulf all of fandom," said the head.

"Who are you?" asked Naomi, still the calm, rational one.

"I am the spirit of all fan fiction. The voice that inspires creation, free thinking, and joy of writing, I am-"

"You're Bob, the Universal Janitor," said a voice from behind them.

They whirled around, to find Scott, Biz's toady, standing there, smiling mockingly at them.

"When I tell Biz, and Headmaster Xing that you broke into Mwhahaha house, Libra won't be the only person expelled! BWHAHAHA!"

"Hey, that's the name of our house!" shouted RenegadeLegacy, and she ran at him, brandishing her shovel. Larania ran up behind her as Scott ducked under her swing, and Larania got his rear when he was bent over.

"Ouch!" he yelled, as he slammed into RL, and Larania tripped, sending them into a dog pile.

"Quickly!" said Bob, the Universal Janitor, "Take these!" and there was a small box at Libra's feet. Picking it up, she could see that it held four small pens.

Suddenly, using his Omnipotent Fan Fiction Powers, he threw off his attackers, and they went sprawling.

"NO!" boomed the deep, soft voice of Bob the Universal Janitor. "You will not have them. Run, girls, run, and use the power that I have given you!"

Suddenly a force field surrounds Scott, but they could tell it would be a matter of moments before he broke free.

Running, the girls tried to get to safety, while they still could.


End file.
